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Monday, January 12, 2015

Freedom - the Ultimate State of Love!




 "When you give freedom to somebody you have given the greatest gift,and love comes rushing towards you."- OSHO
How dead right is this quote!


In Love, there is attention, time, care, concern, affection and companionship. All these are gifts you can give your partner in abundance and it completes your relationship but all these in sacrifice for your freedom? A person who has tasted freedom in the form of being independent, free spirited and liberated do not wish to negotiate their freedom in return for professed Love.
At some point of our lives all of us have become victims of another person trying to control our freedom and set rules within your personal space.

You are all set to go out and meet your childhood male friend who has just come down for holidays from abroad and you grab the phone and dial your partner to share your excitement in all honesty. And the tribulation starts!
How many of you relate to this situation?

"Babe, I trust you and you know how much I love you, It is the guy! I'm not sure of his intentions. Is it appropriate to just go out all alone for a coffee with him?"

When a man is possessive he tries to own you and your life.And that is when you are alarmed at what you have brought upon yourself. It is cute when we get a little attention from the man who loves you. But as and when the stalking, not giving you space, checking your phones, tagging along everywhere, passing judgments about your near and dear friends, inquisitiveness and hatred when you are having a good time is when we realize that we are walking on red signal area.
Most of these are part of insecurities and lack of awareness. The build up of insecurities in him arises from not knowing the person you go out with and also due to lack of confidence. But it is not practically possible to introduce every person in your social life. Even if it is possible it is not wise to do so. All insecurities are hidden behind a false notion -Love.

When two people commit to each other in a relationship the first vow to each other should be trust and belief in each other' s gut feeling. Possessiveness is directly questioning the trust you have in your partner. It is not advisable to stay in a relationship if there is no trust.

Are we still in the world where a man and woman can’t just be friends?  
I make friends easily,
I do not categorize them as man and woman and
I do not filter what I say to either.
They are all friends irrespective of gender.
I do not fall in love with every man who comes my way.
If you are accepted as “the one” then you remain.
I do not have to constantly assure you why you are special.
Every time you try to own me I reconsider why I chose you over another. Every time you get possessive over me you are forcing me to think of a good old buddy romantically and sometimes even sexually.
So having a possessive boyfriend increases the possibility of you falling in love with an other wise close friend.
Impulsiveness is human nature. If you ask me not to meet him for coffee the next thing I want to do is go on a holiday with him.
My judgement is to be trusted over yours. You are also result of my judgement . If you don't trust my judgment there is a high possibility that you will also not be part of it.

I really wish my effort knocks some sense into many ‘less of a man’ guys. Trust your girl, believe in her, sit back and enjoy all the Love which you will attract like a magnet because she chose to be with you over many others she could get. Give her Love, Trust and Freedom and your days of begging for attention will soon be over.


Disclaimer- This post is written from the perspective of a woman longing to be trusted. As I know there are many reverse situations where the woman is possessive over her man. I have not ventured into that area in this post. This is not to be considered as feminism pouring out on all men. I Love and Respect men and believe their influence in a woman’s life can bring wonderful experiences for her.
Picture Courtesy - Internet

2 comments:

  1. having been on the other side of the equation i appreciate what you are trying to say here...but there are two kinds of possessiveness as what i have seen- the first starts pretty harmless- why dont you wear this or that or whatever- couched in a complimentary amnner and pretty soon you are left wondering what the hell happened to your freedom when every little part of your life is mapped and given to you to be followed without fail. the second one- the more insidious one is the one you write above- the one where the partner is afflicted by inner demons - feels insecure and not deserving of you - and tries to take it out on you - by trying to diminish you. both are in their way horrible and soul-sucking. which brings me back to the point i am trying to make- equal partnerships are the only ones which can survive the test of time- experimentation with those below you or above you (socialy/intellectually/financially) are doomed to give rise to jagged edges and insecurities and psossessiveness- if they cant beleive their luck in getting hold of you- they are going to squeeze all the harder to keep you in hand. so get yourself a confident person- someone who knows their own worth and know you choose them for a reason and its not going to change.

    there. thats my $.0.02 's of romantic advice

    (disclaimer - the author of the above advice is an expert on failed relationships by personal experience and as such is uniquely qualified to coach relationship newbies. for more advice - join our online course- how to suck at relationships -for 50 bucks only)

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