Jessica, I love you!

Jessica, I love you!

“This is the story of my tiny son who had a mistaken identity by birth. We misconstrued his gender for a female and called him Jessica inspired from Shakespeare’s many characters. On realising the gaffe and embracing it we named him Jesse.

He was very tiny for his age as an infant but the very glow in his eyes would steal anybody’s heart. He would look up with his pointy nose and slowly acknowledge us by his charm. He was doe eyed and that makes you want to pick him up even more.

I was a young mother and many a times I used to take him to my additional lectures. He loved the attention from teachers and fellow school mates. He was my Rockstar!

I remember how he used to be up early giving me company when I had studies to do in the morning. He would stare at me and never disturbed me.

As he grew older he had become an integral part of our lives. Bathing him, keeping him clean and feeding him was shared responsibility between my grandmother, mother and me.

As he turned 6, he had a little fellow for company. I never felt any difficulty in taking care of both of them as Jesse was a very responsible big brother and would carry the tiny tot around on his back. It was quite a sight. The little one was meek and kept to himself as a kid. He always hid behind the shadow of his elder brother in his growing days. He learnt everything from Jesse; crawl, walk, fall and get up.

It was in Jesse’s teens that we had trouble with the boys. I was tired of being a referee to them but deep down I knew that their fights lasted only a day and they would sit together and have their meal together and play later. Jesse always knew he was the big brother. The small one was always left with a bruise or two at the end of a brawl.

Then that day came when my conviction was no longer true. That night as I enter their room, there laid Jesse motionless, his eyes closed tight, arms stretched out, almost cold and stiff. In the corner I saw my little one in fear and guilt of what he had done. A playful shunt had taken his elder brother's life.

I picked him up in my arms. Trying calling his name a few times, nudged him in the hope that I could see the glow in his eyes one last time. I hoped that this was just a bad nightmare and had not happened. Guilt filled my mind. Was it bad parenting? Had I walked in a bit earlier I would’ve stopped this catastrophe. Tears rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably. I had never imagined a day that he would be gone before me.

My family at some point thought that we would rather have God take the younger one and not Jesse. I couldn’t think that way. He was my little one even though he learnt everything from Jesse and now that he was gone there was a great amount of grief and fear that he was in. We had to nurse him back to health.

I picked him up and stroked him one last time before I put him deep down in moist dark soil. That was the last I saw of Jesse”

Yesterday I lost my Pet turtle Jessica (Jesse) in a territorial fight with his younger brother Jemma. Had I been more careful probably I could’ve saved him. He was the most adorable turtle I had ever seen. He loved to be pampered and taken care of. I will really miss you Jesse and continue loving you and promise to be happy here and maybe you will be born as my son in this life or next.

I love you, Jessica!